Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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