He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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