But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
