Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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