i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
