i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
