im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
