I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
