We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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