very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
