your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
