see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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