Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
