I like to think it a success when the cops are called
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
