suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize