I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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