There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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