Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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