well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize