Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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