We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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