my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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