I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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