I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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