tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
