Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
