i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize