I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What changed your mind?
Being sober
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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