Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
