i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
