Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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