I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
