You're completely useless in the revolution.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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