I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
