that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
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She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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