I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
