Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
