Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
