Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
