i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
