Your tits are I can't wait for
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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