Non-Jews are for practice
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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