like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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