i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
