she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize