Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
