sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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