bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
