peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
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