After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
