Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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