I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
