Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
