I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
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