that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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