So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
