hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
