Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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